My Strengths and Weaknesses
I started my search six years ago. I was a member of a certain religious group from an early age. As I grew into adulthood I was soon confronted with a crises. I began to see serious flaws in this religious group, and would realize years later that I need to change. How to change was another story. I read books on how to ‘change your life’ in my early twenties, but this was more of a fad or a hobby. I was never motivated to want to truly change. I now know what is involved in changing and improving myself. What I am about to tell you is an incredible story of change. It may not be the most amazing story you have ever heard, but my story has made my life interesting.
I grew up in California around Jehovah’s Witnesses. I do not want to focus on the group itself so I will not mention it for the duration of my story. My mother introduced me to this group as a child. By the time I entered my teens Mother stopped attending this group’s services. At the age of 14 I started attending services by myself. I joined this to get away from the alcoholism that was prevailing in my family. This group had what appeared to be an elitist and egocentric view of themselves. In the meantime I moved to Arizona. I did not know it at the time but anger was building up in me until it exploded. This started in my early twenties, and I was already on my way out of this group. I finally left at age twenty-five; full of rage and hate. I became depressed. My depression interfered with the normal functioning of my life. I lost my job, and was evicted from my apartment. I thought I would stay this way for a long time. It was only six months. I was hired at a private security firm, and rented a room from a family on the far east side of Tucson.
My life was beginning to function normally again. I met someone at work. She introduced me to her husband and children. They took me to a church. My friends eventually moved to Missouri, but I continued to stay at this church because of my new love-interest. That love-interest became my wife. Kristin and I were married on February 18, 2001, but my problems were not over. I began to question things in this church said, particularly of some that claimed to speak directly with God. Of course no one else heard God speaking, for these individuals spoke for God. Francis Bacon in his Book, The Age of Reason, said that what these so-called divine channels said was just “hearsay†because no one else heard God speaking. The leader told Kristin and I that he would not marry us if we did not comply something he was ordering us to do. Of course the leaders threat did not work out the way he wanted it to. I began to tell others. He had an injunction placed on me to prevent me from talking to other members about these abuses he was committing. I fought the injunction and it was dissolved. One of the church leaders threatened to sue me over this. That was almost a year ago (The threat was made in September 2000).
Because of these experiences I began honestly looking at my life. I began asking myself what I excelled in, and what I have failed at. I began to understand what I was good at, and why I have failed at certain things throughout my life. How can I turn my failures into victories, or at least debilitate the impact certain failures have had on my life? How does one change? This latter question is not as easy to answer as it may seem.
First I need to know myself. Just who is John Brown? Change cannot take place without getting acquainted with myself first . There were several things I noticed that needed change. First of all, between what I had seen certain groups do, in particular the religious groups that my family or I had been affiliated with, have done to hurt others. This created a powerful angry streak in me. Second, the religious group I grew up in was against higher learning. Also I was not very serious in high school. After I left this group I never gave going back to school much thought, that is, until I got married and finally realized where I was in my life. I was already doing volunteer work with a professional counselor. Why not go back to school to receive a degree. This way I can also do something I like, and receive a good wage for doing it. There is just one problem. I have a problem with completing things. What can I do? Also how do I control my angry streak? I have never gotten violent, but my anger would focus on getting back at those who injured my family or me.
Besides these obstacles and weaknesses I grew up with either ADD or ADHD. This made it harder for me to concentrate during my childhood. I have also been very shy at certain periods throughout my life. The shyness may have been the result of the way I was treated.
What Strengths do I have? Can I use my strengths to debilitate my weaknesses? Yes I can! I have an inquisitive mind. I began a search. I embarked on a search for change. I developed a desire to help others. This is why I work with a professional counselor. This is why we started a support group for those who had been abused by religious groups. My research had led me to several realizations.
As far as not getting a higher education, the solution is simple: get a higher education.
This is my strategic plan for concentrating, and producing good fruit in my life. The key to a long life is a calm life. I plan on getting a higher education and I plan to living a good, long life after that.
My Pursuit of Higher Education
Several years ago I sought after a higher education. I wanted to enhance my personal life, and increase my career opportunities. I failed! Now its ten years later, and I am in school again. This time it will be different. This time will be different because I know why I failed ten years go.
The first cause for my failure at school (college) was my lack of interest and effort in high school. If I enjoyed a class I did well. If I did not enjoy a class I did not do well. I did graduate but had no interest in pursuing higher learning for about three years. Now I see the necessity of doing my best in school
This leads into the second cause: lack of definite goals. My parents and grandparents were not very proficient at teaching me productive habits. Discipline in my family usually meant punishment. The word “discipline†comes from a Latin word which means to “teachâ€Â, not “punish.†I learned this from a simple dictionary. Since my first attempt at college I have taught myself about goal-setting. One of my favorite books is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. The main theme of this book is to get rich, but I like the goal-setting methods that Mr. Hill teaches. I can apply these methods to anything. Another one of Mr. Hill’s Book teaches positive thinking. He lists 17 principles to facilitate positive thinking. They are:
1. A definite major purpose in life.
2. A positive mental attitude.
3. An Applied Faith.
4. A pleasing personality.
5. Going that “extra mile.â€Â
6. A creative Imagination.
7. Learning from adversity and defeat.
8. Budgeting time and money.
9. Accurate thinking.
10. An alliance of advisors and mentors (Mr. Hill called this
his Master Mind Alliance)
11. Personal initiative.
12. Self-discipline.
13. Controlled attention.
14. Controlled enthusiasm.
15. Maintaining sound physical and mental health.
16. Teamwork.
17. Following and obeying the natural course of things (Mr.
Hill called this Cosmic Habit Force).
Now I have personal goals including personal mission, vision and values statements.
The third cause was an attempt to fix the first cause. I thought I would try an accredited correspondence degree program.
I did not do as well in high school as I wanted to. I believed problem had been the structured class room environment. Correspondence Degree Programs have very little structure. This produced very little initiative on my part. I tried three correspondence programs: a short story/journalism program, an Associate of Electronics Technology program, and a Theological Studies Program. Since there was no structure I simply lost interest every time. The lack of structure was of no help in providing me with any personal drive to complete those programs. Now I realize a classroom setting is best for me.
Since that failure I did not know what I wanted to do. Now I sure of want I want to do. I have the skills, the drive, the determination, and the sources of encouragement to pursue and eventually complete my Bachelors in Human Services, my Masters in Counseling, and perhaps a Ph.D. in Psychology. And no person or thing will stop me this time
My Long Term and Short Term Personal Goals
I am devoted to the human services field! Before I go on to list my specific goals for the pursuit of a Bachelor’s in Human Services, and then a Master’s in Counseling, I would like to summarize what led to my interest in this field and the work I do now.
I do volunteer work with a professional counselor. His name is Wally Shiel. He was also a student at here at UOP. We assist people who have been affected by abusive, harmful, or even dangerous belief systems For example, we are working a little bit with individuals who have been molested by leaders of a certain religious group. This group has tried to conceal this problem . Dateline is going to run a story on this group and its pedophile problem sometime in the Fall. I am very concerned about people that have been affected by such belief systems. I do not do any in depth counseling but do what has come to be termed “consultations.†I provide others with information, refer out to other counselors, and do some listening to other’s problems. Wally handles the “harder†cases. We have also started a support group for such individuals. The support group has fifteen members here in Tucson. An associate of mine has also started a support group in Phoenix. The Phoenix support group has 30 members. We have also developed a web site.
I have developed a personal mission, vision and values statement for my volunteer work.
ï‚· Mission Statement: my mission is to use my talents and abilities to help people of all ages, stages, background and economic levels achieve their human potential, fully developing their mind and talents. I also aim at helping others break free from whatever is holding them back, and by teaching them human dignity and respect for others.
ï‚· Vision Statement: Look forward to the time when intolerance, discrimination, bigotry, belief coercion, and groups that practice these things while hiding behind religious, nonprofit, or any other status will be regulated.
ï‚· Value Statement: My values statement is found in the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the UN Declaration of the Elimination of All forms of Discrimination Based On Religion and Belief.
UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF
HUMAN RIGHTS (UDHR)
Article 1
Right to Equality
Article 2
Freedom from Discrimination
Article 3
Right to Life, Liberty, Personal Security
Article 4
Freedom from Slavery
Article 5
Freedom from Torture and Degrading Treatment
Article 6
Right to Recognition as a Person before the Law
Article 7
Right to Equality before the Law
Article 8
Right to Remedy by Competent Tribunal
Article 9
Freedom from Arbitrary Arrest and Exile
Article 10
Right to Fair Public Hearing
Article 11
Right to be Considered Innocent until Proven Guilty
Article 12
Freedom from Interference with Privacy, Family, Home and Correspondence
Article 13
Right to Free Movement in and out of the Country
Article 14
Right to Asylum in other Countries from Persecution
Article 15
Right to a Nationality and the Freedom to Change It
Article 16
Right to Marriage and Family
Article 17
Right to Own Property
Article 18
Freedom of Belief and Religion
Article 19
Freedom of Opinion and Information
Article 20
Right of Peaceful Assembly and Association
Article 21
Right to Participate in Government and in Free Elections
Article 22
Right to Social Security
Article 23
Right to Desirable Work and to Join Trade Unions
Article 24
Right to Rest and Leisure
Article 25
Right to Adequate Living Standard
Article 26
Right to Education
Article 27
Right to Participate in the Cultural Life of Community
Article 28
Right to a Social Order that Articulates this Document
Article 29
Community Duties Essential to Free and Full Development
Article 30
Freedom from State or Personal Interference in the above Rights
Declaration on the Elimination of All Forms of Intolerance and of Discrimination Based on Religion or Belief.
Article 1
1. Everyone shall have the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion.
Article 2
1. No one shall be subject to discrimination by any State, institution, group of persons, or person on the grounds of religion or other belief.
Article 3
Discrimination between human being on the grounds of religion or belief constitutes an affront to human dignity.
Article 4
All States shall take effective measures to prevent and eliminate discrimination on the grounds of religion or belief.
Article 5
1. The parents of the child have the right to organize the life within the family in accordance with their religion or belief.
2. Every child shall enjoy the right to have access to education in the matter of religion or belief in accordance with the wishes of his parent or legal guardian.
3. The child shall be protected from any form of discrimination on the ground of religion or belief.
5. Practices of a religion or belief in which a child is brought up must not be injurious to his physical or mental health or to his full development.
Article 6
In accordance with the right to freedom of thought, conscience, religion or belief shall include the following freedoms:
1. To worship or assemble in connection with a religion or belief, and to establish and maintain places for these purposes;
2. To establish and maintain appropriate charitable or humanitarian institutions;
3. To make, acquire and use to an adequate extent the necessary articles and materials related to the rites or customs of a religion or belief;
4. To write, issue and disseminate relevant publications in these areas;
5. To teach a religion or belief in places suitable for these purposes;
6. To solicit and receive voluntary financial and other contributions from individuals and institutions;
7. To train, appoint, elect or designate by succession appropriate leaders called for by the requirements and standards of any religion or belief;
8. To observe days of rest and to celebrate holidays and ceremonies in accordance with the precepts of one's religion or belief;
9. To establish and maintain communications with individuals and communities in matters of religion and belief at the national and international levels.
Article 7
Everyone shall be able to avail himself of such rights and freedoms in practice.
Article 8
Nothing in the present Declaration shall be construed as restricting or derogating from any of these rights
Because I am in the human services field I feel I need to have a fully developed approach to things so I can help others.
What I have wrote so far are long range intention and goals. I realize I must break these goals down, and take steps to attain my long range goals. This starts with school. In the next five years I plan on completing my Bachelor’s degree and be starting on my Master’s. I plan on completing my degrees eight years from now. Since I am already in the human services field I am thinking of the possibility of using the CLEP test process in passing some of my classes. If I am familiar in an area that is covered by a certain class, and I take the CLEP test, I can bypass taking that class. If this works out for me I plan on having my Bachelor's in less time. This first year will be the period where I try and experiment with what works for me.
